Time is not a universal but individual unit of measurement

We've all been there, haven't we? Short weeks, or honestly, just regular workweeks, can feel like a wild rollercoaster ride. They take us on a journey swinging between our longing for relaxation and the frenetic race to address all those pressing matters that seem incapable of waiting. In these moments, we find ourselves whispering to ourselves, "There's just not enough time! I wish the days were longer!" But instead of succumbing to despair, I've made a personal commitment to approach the challenge of time management with both kindness and precision.

The concept of time

Of course! Time is a fundamental concept in physics and our understanding of the universe. But it is also something deeply personal and unique to each of us. In the words of Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity, time can pass differently for individuals in relative motion. Actually, better than Einstein, having young children serves as a constant reminder of this truth. Children possess an uncanny ability to put time into perspective, whether it's exclaiming, "It's going to take me three hours to brush my teeth! I won't have time to play after," or remarking, "I've only been watching TV for one minute!" even as the movie comes to an end.

Yet, beyond the quirky perceptions of time that children exhibit, I like to remind myself that time is also MY time – the time I have in the present moment. Its flow can appear to speed up or slow down depending on the level of intention and presence I invest in it. In this unique relationship with time, I've also discovered that I am its greatest guardian and the one ultimately responsible for it. This realization can be both challenging and incredibly liberating.

Navigating the illusion of balance

For me, the art of time management has always been intricately tied to the delicate dance of balance. It's the equilibrium between work and life, the juggling act of dividing my time between the office and home, and the challenge of allocating moments to my kids, my partner, my family, and perhaps most importantly, to myself. In the midst of a recent corporate restructuring – not to mention the other personal challenges life threw my way – I realized that balance is an idealization, an expectation and a constant goal in everyone's life. And at times, it can feel both overwhelming and like an insatiable energy drain.

It turns out that this is an abstract concept encompassing a spectrum of potential interpretations and meanings. Each person, in their unique journey, will uncover answers to the pivotal questions: What specific actions can I take to achieve MY balance? In my case, I've found that it's the thoughtful allocation of time to the significant facets of life – encompassing my children, partner, home, work, family, and my personal well-being – that propels me closer to that elusive sense of "balance."

MY balanced organization

During my usual workweeks, I have adopted a practice that works wonders and allows me to feel like I have tackled most - if not all - that I wanted to accomplish. Here is how it goes:

I start by listing out my tasks and intentions according to my overarching goals and major plans - personal and professional. Armed with this to-do list, I convert each task into a dedicated appointment on my calendar. Yes, that's right! I open up my Calendars - Outlook, Google, paper, or other, and I schedule an appointment for each element of my to-do list. I even schedule appointments with myself, effectively blocking off my time. These appointments encompass tasks spanning all the areas of life that I want to nurture and care for.

One framework that I've found incredibly valuable for categorizing the items on my to-do list is the SPIRE system introduced by Tal Ben Shahar. SPIRE encompasses five critical areas: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional.

S: Spiritual - This area is dedicated to cultivating a deeper connection with the profound meaning and significance of life. For someone like me, an adult with probable ADHD tendencies, daily practices such as meditation can feel far from natural and, in fact, might even generate more stress. Instead, I've discovered that my most authentic moments of gratitude often arise when I'm lying in bed with my children as I put them to sleep. The simple joy of cuddles and hugs during this quiet time is truly special. It's not only a heartwarming experience but also one with potential health benefits, including the reduction of fear, stress, and pain. These moments of connection with loved ones may also provide support for immune and cardiovascular health.

P: Physical - This area revolves around the care you give to your body, including essential elements like sleep, nutrition, hydration, and regular exercise. Personally, I've realized that I need a solid 8 hours of sleep to function at my best. It's the cornerstone of my physical well-being! :)

I: Intellectual - This aspect focuses on enriching your mind with valuable content, be it through books, courses, or other resources that contribute to personal growth. As an example, I recently enrolled in an ADHD psychology class, reflecting my commitment to intellectual development.

R: Relational - This facet is all about the quality of your relationships and the efficacy with which you nurture them throughout the week. I make a conscious effort to allocate time specifically for my children. At least once a week, I strive to be present at one of their extracurricular activities or carve out moments to explore new experiences together. It may sound like a simple task, but for a parent juggling a full-time job, these precious moments can often be in short supply.

E: Emotional - This area centers on your aptitude for tending to your emotions and guiding them with both wisdom and emotional well-being in sight. Personally, I find myself deeply invested emotionally in all my endeavors. As a means of nurturing my emotional equilibrium, I've implemented a recurring meeting with myself, aptly named "walk away." This practice serves the purpose of affording me the time I need to step back, take breaks, and reset both my mind and my emotions. It's a cherished moment of self-care that allows me to navigate the challenges of life with a greater sense of emotional balance and resilience.

The objective of SPIRE is to strike a balance and nurture each of these areas throughout the week. This holistic approach serves as a compass for cultivating a profound sense of wholeness and happiness. It's a philosophy that allows me to be more conscious of achieving equilibrium in life, a quest that resonates with many professionals, particularly those of us who have the added responsibilities of caring for children.

In summary, while the experience of time may be a subjective affair, units of time measurement remain universally accepted and employed as standardized tools for measuring life's moments. So, I extend an invitation to you: Take this week as an opportunity to care for yourself and your time with intention. Seize your moments of respite and find happiness in them. Cherish the time you spend with your child, and don't forget to embrace the child inside you. Make these moments a source of fun, and let them light up your week.