Understanding human behavior

How neuroscience can improve your personal and professional relationships.

To build strong, lasting connections, we must first understand what drives our decisions and those of the people around us. Just as businesses aim to grasp what encourages customers to act in particular ways, we too must seek to understand what motivates our choices and the choices of others. Surprisingly, individuals often lack full awareness of their own motivations. While self-reflection and introspection can help, they do not always provide us with a complete picture. We may not fully understand the 'why' behind our own behavior.

Scientists estimate that conscious thinking, the kind we are aware of, comprises only about 5 percent of our cognition. The remaining 95 percent takes place deep within our subconscious.

While we may not always be conscious of the 'why' behind our actions, but by delving into the realm of neuroscience, we can gain insights that can enhance our relationships on an entirely new level.

The mystery of neuroscience

Neuroscience, often referred to as the "science of the brain," is a multidisciplinary field of study that explores the intricacies of the nervous system, encompassing the brain, spinal cord, and peripheral nerves. It delves deep into understanding the structure, function, and complexities of this biological marvel. By unraveling the mysteries of neurons, synapses, and neural circuits, neuroscience seeks to decode the fundamental mechanisms underlying human behavior, cognition, emotions, and even neurological disorders. This interdisciplinary pursuit blends insights from biology, psychology, chemistry, and other scientific domains to provide profound insights into the very essence of what makes us human. While it's a rich area of research on a purely scientific level, it also holds the key to answering many relevant questions for individuals.

One of the main insights to keep in mind is that humans, as a species, are not as logical as we like to imagine. Our decisions are influenced by a variety of factors that may not even directly relate to the situation at hand. We often don't fully understand what we want or why we want it.

As neuroscience uncovers the answers to questions about human behavior, we can improve our understanding of what drives our choices and those of others. We can discover why we sometimes get stuck in certain patterns, what causes frustration, or what might disrupt our life journey. By incorporating this understanding into our daily lives, we can enhance our relationships, decision-making, and overall well-being.

Using neuroscience to improve your life

In our personal lives, every decision we make is driven by our perception of reward. However, the human brain consists of billions of connections working together to process information. Making decisions can be a complex process, so our brains develop shortcuts to simplify it. Instead of carefully evaluating every option, we rely on biases and shortcuts that guide us toward or away from certain choices.

Understanding these shortcuts can help us make better decisions in various aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional development. Let's explore five cognitive biases that you can use to enhance your personal life.

1. Social norming

The first cognitive bias is known as social norming, but is also called the Bandwagon Effect or social proof. Essentially, this short-cut states that we usually feel more comfortable following the crowd. We look at what others do and that influences our decision. In fact, people feel hesitant when it comes to stepping outside the norm, so instead, we tend to ascribe more towards a herd mentality.

When we're uncertain about our choices, we naturally look to others for guidance: a practice deeply ingrained in our human nature. Consider this scenario: when faced with significant decisions such as a major purchase or a career change, seeking advice and opinions from trusted sources, such as friends, family, mentors, leaders, or experts, is a prudent approach. The process often involves meticulous analysis of available options, aiming for a rational decision, although it's essential to remain vigilant against undue external influences that may sway your ultimate choice.

Yet, when making less consequential, spur-of-the-moment decisions, like selecting a brand of shoes for your children or handling a work-related situation, you may find yourself instinctively viewing the choices made by others as valid and suitable decisions, aligning yourself with the collective to foster a sense of belonging.

Personal Tip: when confronted with uncertainty about a decision, it's beneficial to seek advice or opinions from trusted individuals. However, it's equally crucial to pause momentarily and introspect, asking yourself a fundamental question: "What do I genuinely desire?" This moment of reflection allows you to recognize and assess the potential influence of external factors on your choices, enabling a more informed and self-aware decision-making process.

2. Framing effect

The framing effect shows that the way information is presented can influence our perception of it. This bias can play a pivotal role in enhancing our communication, whether in personal or professional relationships, as it empowers us to deliver messages with greater effectiveness by being attuned to the language we employ.

When I reflect on this bias, I'm often reminded of Don Miguel Ruiz's insightful book, "The Four Agreements." Indeed, the very first principle he outlines in his code of conduct resonates deeply: "Be impeccable with your word." When applying the framing effect, a similar principle reigns supreme – ensuring that the statements we make are not only impactful but also undeniably true. False statements or intentional misdirection can have far-reaching consequences, potentially causing irreparable damage to one's reputation. The connection becomes evident, doesn't it?

Furthermore, it's essential to discern the core values and priorities of your audience, be it in personal or professional interactions, and employ language that resonates with their deepest desires. For instance, in my interactions with my child, I've come to understand that "playtime" holds paramount importance. Therefore, when seeking to influence her choices, I often present alternatives that incorporate play, knowing it will capture her attention and cooperation.

Personal Tip: Much like many aspects of life, utilizing the framing strategy is an art that thrives on trial and error. It's about adeptly assessing the person in front of you and understanding their unique circumstances. To master this art, conduct regular tests to discern the type of language that elicits the most favorable and fruitful responses.

3. Fear of missing out (FOMO)

We all have a fear of missing out on opportunities or experiences. Our fear of missing out actually ranks higher than our desire to gain. Studies indicate that people have twice the desire to avoid any type of pain than they do a desire to gain a potential benefit. Understanding this fear can help us make choices that align with our goals and values.

In a professional context, this bias can significantly impact your productivity. How many times have you found yourself accepting a meeting out of fear of missing out on a project or crucial information, only to realize it wasn't the best use of your time? That, my friend, is the FOMO effect in action! The same can apply to accepting social invitations, such as attending a friend's dinner when you're low on energy and would probably benefit more from a good night of sleep.

Personal Tip: When faced with decisions, take a moment to consider what you might miss out on by choosing one option over another. This perspective can serve as a guiding light, helping you make choices that align with what truly matters to you, rather than succumbing to the allure of FOMO-induced decisions.

4. Choice overload

The phenomenon of choice paralysis emerges when we find ourselves confronted with an overwhelming array of options, making it less likely for us to make a decision at all. In essence, the more choices presented, the more our decision-making ability can become paralyzed.

A fascinating study conducted by a store offers a compelling example of this effect. They offered customers a selection of jams, with one group having a choice of 6 different flavors, while the other faced a staggering 24 options. Surprisingly, the group with the smaller selection of 6 flavors was 10 times more likely to make a purchase than the group with 24 choices.

Personal Tip: When engaging in discussions or decision-making with others, it's often wise to streamline the options you present. This approach facilitates smoother and more efficient decision-making and helps steer clear of the potential stress or paralysis that arises when faced with an excess of choices.

5. Anchoring

Our human tendency to anchor decisions to initial pieces of information is a fascinating aspect of cognitive behavior. Remarkably, this inclination to anchor can occur both consciously and unconsciously, often regardless of whether the initial information is relevant to the subsequent decision.

A particularly intriguing study shed light on this phenomenon by observing a judge's sentencing decisions. Surprisingly, the way a set of dice had been rolled just before the case was heard had a discernible impact. The judge was more likely to impose longer sentences, demonstrating the power of anchoring, even in a context seemingly unrelated to the original information.

Imagine you're shopping for a new smartphone. As you browse through the store, you come across the first phone that captures your attention, primarily due to its sleek design and vibrant display. You're so impressed by it that you anchor your decision to this initial encounter, hardly considering other options. Later, you discover that the phone lacks some crucial features you require, but you're hesitant to explore alternatives because your mind has already fixated on that first impression.

In a professional context, suppose you're in a meeting to discuss project proposals. The first presenter delivers a compelling pitch for their idea, and you find yourself immediately drawn to it. Subsequent proposals, while equally valid, don't resonate with you as strongly because your mind has anchored to that initial presentation. As a result, you might unknowingly favor the first proposal, overlooking potentially better options.

Personal Tip: To combat the anchoring bias, both personally and professionally, make a conscious effort to withhold judgment until you've gathered and evaluated all relevant information. When encountering a choice or decision, force yourself to explore alternatives, even if you're initially drawn to the first option. By doing so, you'll avoid being unduly influenced by the anchoring effect and make more informed and balanced choices. Remember, the best decision may not always be the one that captures your attention first.

Gaining insight into the principles of neuroscience and cognitive biases can a valuable asset in your personal and professional journey. By identifying and leveraging these biases in your decision-making, communication, and interactions with others, you can pave the way for more effective collaboration, fostering a more harmonious and productive environment. When you connect with colleagues or family members on a deeper level and make choices that resonate with your values, you'll not only experience personal growth and happiness but also find yourself better equipped to thrive in your career.

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How to use neuroscience to navigate culture change in the workplace